Someone in the 1bruce1 community had me laughing at the premise of the comic strip “Mary Worth” being like, Liz at age 65. So true!
I don’t think she’s going to keep it that way.
“It’s wrong!” Classic Liz. Shut up, Mary.
And in my Mary Worth hunt (which I never thought I’d partake in), I found a snarky Mary Worth blog! Who knew? There’s really something for everyone in this world.
* Photo credit to The Closet *
It’s just too weird to be reading the last Sweet Valley High book. No Senior Year or University for me, so the end is more than nigh for me. I must say, I’m impressed with the stamina I showed in reaching my goal. I have done what I set out to do, even if it meant sacrificing a few brain cells in the process. Finally, I can read real books and be smart again. And, I can now say with no hesitation and full authority, “That is the stupidest story I ever heard—and I’ve read the entire Sweet Valley High series.”
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* Photo credit to The Closet *
Truly an unfortunate cover for a book titled “Earthquake.” This is just a myriad of recycled covers, none of which depict the title’s event. Some more viable, interesting options would’ve been a totaled Spanish-style split level, a lavaliere lying dramatically over some rubble, a Sears portrait of an ominous-looking refrigerator… Also, is that Ken Matthews in the lower left corner? He looks… well, sixteen, which is a shock for the series that likes to take thirty-year-olds and pass them off as high schoolers. Just like Grease!
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* Photo credit to The Closet *
The twins are in black and white, and the logo is shattered! That’s a sure sign of foreboding. The cover artists couldn’t get a better quality cake from Getty Images? They’re supposed to be going out in style. At least they remembered all seventeen candles.
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* Photo credit to The Closet *
This is Liz and Jess in their “No more pencils, no more books” outfits as they flee their notorious alma mater. Now, I spend much of this blog hating everything Wakefield, but I’m challenging myself to say nothing but positive things since it’s the last numbered book in the series. However, I fear that what’s to come may be the biggest stretch in fiction since, well, Sweet Valley High.
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* Photo credit to The Closet *
It’s the Big Night, y’all! Liz is apparently back in Baby’s arms, smiling and looking lovey with Todd Wilkins again, while Jess looks like she caught a whiff of someone’s booty burp. Why is it impossible for anyone on these covers to wear something attractive? Were the ‘90s really so unfashionable? Don’t answer that.
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* Photo credit to The Closet *
Why is Jess wearing all her prom accessories if they’re just trying on dresses in the store? And WHAT is going on with Liz’s hairstyle? I’ve seen toddlers with cuter hair. Then again, toddlers’ moms probably do their hair for them but still. What I’m trying to say is that 1) there’s no reason why Liz should be out in public looking like this and 2) I don’t understand why Todd Wilkins and Devon Whitelaw are in a penis duel to the death over her.
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* Photo credit to The Closet *
Mmm. Okay, is that Devon Whitelaw or Todd Wilkins, the two boys who are warring for worthless Liz? Whoever it is, I want to pin him down and bite him on his cleft chin. Yum. So what’s the deal with the title and this cover? Liz looks like the one who should be contrite, but she’s got a look on her face that says, “You should forgive me. Or else.”
Have you ever wished an entire SVH book would be devoted to mountain biking and being at one with nature? Well, population of exactly zero, your dream has finally been realized!
* Photo credit to The Closet *
This cover is truly LOL-worthy. This the worst posed fight scene evs. I love how Jessica is so into tearing Devon Whitelaw off Todd Wilkins. She’s really putting her back into it. Devon looks short and is dressed like my brother. If I were Devon and saw Todd’s face looking like that, I’d want to punch him too.
In other news, this book’s number and title rhyme!
